I may throw them out there like gram does her breasts, but how the heck do I know what these "symptoms" mean? Yes, I am guilty of making E.R. trips for what has turned out to be a swollen lymph node, and once for an upper respiratory infection (cold), and to the OB/GYN to be reminded to drink water on a daily basis in order to avoid cramping, but today I SWEAR I had contractions.
Now to the details. I warn that it may get vulgar, but these things are for telling all, right? While in the shower just a few days ago, I was shocked by an abnormal slime. This was something I hadn't seen since waking up the next day, still in my shin-guards, after a soccer game in the rain. The continuation of this occurrence has convinced me, after some superficial googling, that I have began losing my mucus plug. So, of course, I research, again insufficiently, what contractions feel like. Well, now that you mention it, why yes, I believe my abdomen does feel like my chin just after experiencing lower back pain. You know what? My stool is rather loose these last few BM's. HOLY SHNIKES, that was definitely a Braxton Hicks contraction.
This Friday, the 14th I think, I will be 31 weeks into gestation. There is a baby Layla growing inside of my uterus. But what I really want to express is that there is an innocent child wedging it's head between my rib cage and inducing high calorie cravings resulting in disgusting weight gain and serious indigestion. She has drained every ounce of energy from me and helped me to become an even more blunt biatch. I would like to thank her in person after her arrival for the stretch marks on my ass, and I may get her name tattooed right under them some day!
Ten Minutes Later -
I am in true bliss though, and as insensitive as I may pretend to be, I have never felt such honor as I do right now. I still can't believe that God chose me to house another life. (Don't get me wrong, I definitely took part in the creation process,and whew - it was exhaustive!) While I was not up to the challenge initially, I have stepped up to the plate by now. I am captivated my the kicks that I can feel in my back. I always thought a baby was in the stomach. And the somersaults really tickle me pink. To me, this is the craziest experience of my life, and trust that I have survived some crazy shizz!
I am getting fatter and slower by the day, and it's only a matter of time before I, and all of your volunteer mommas, get to meet you, poke you, hold you wrong, and smell your stinky tutor. Layla "blank" Jones, we are so excited for that day to come!
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spank you crack me up. you have my number, any time you have a question, no matter what time call me. i'm pretty much a pro at this shit by now. who knows, maybe i'll be your nurse when you come in :-) ~~lizzy
ReplyDeleteawe Spank! Sweet post. Don't worry. My third baby and I STILL found myself wondering "does this mean I'm going into labor?" I too checked on websites for signs of labor and you know what I found? Tons of other ladies 30+ weeks wondering if each weird change in their body meant labor.
ReplyDeleteIt truly is a humbling and amazing experience. I too cannot wait to meet (and get my hands on) our little baby Layla. I plan on wearing my protective gear (mouth guards, shin guards, etc)to the hospital because i know I'm going to have to fight your mom and gram ... and sisters to have a turn!