I have a dream...

That one day I will have no cellulite and a perfect bust. Since my pregnancy has smothered those, it has been sure to replace them with outlandish and vivid, yet unbelievably real dreams.

I am one of the numerous people out there who swear up and down that I never really had dreams before. I mean sure, maybe once in a blue moon, but not often and never memorable ones. But since I have been fostering the growth of another being, I have been experiencing what I believe an acid trip to be like.

As I toss and turn and shove pillows in every imaginable pose in order to achieve some sort of comfort, I eventually nod off. That is when the trip begins. Last night, I dreamed that I was at my mom's house with my sister when all of a sudden, I was walking through her yard giving birth. Erica must have delivered the baby while I was still moving along. She was a doll baby, so cute, but still covered in blood and mucous (the baby, of course). I was frantic, but no one else seemed to be in any sort of rush. They slowly packed up the car and we began our hour long drive to the hospital. When we arrived, none of the hospital personnel were in a rush either.

From there we continued to wander the hospital looking for my doctor. While searching, I tried to breast feed her. I remember the pain it caused me and I think I may have really pinched my nips in my sleep. When I was done, I tried to burp her. I had no idea how to. She just kept spitting up stuff and looked like I fed her too much. My mom was yelling at me that I was not doing it right, and then.. I woke up.

Thank god, too, because now I have a whole list of things to ask the doctor at my next appointment. Like how will I really know when it's time to go to the hospital, and how do you burp a baby? I have thought all day about what this dream may have meant and I think I know. I had too much caffeine yesterday. That's it. I can't try to over-analyze these dreams because I have never experienced any of this stuff in reality. I would advise other first time baby mama's to do the same. I don't think I will miss all signs of labor, from what I hear, it feels like losing a limb. It F'in hurts. And I think I will figure out how to burp a baby. Youtube does wonders, ya know.

These dreams are emotional in every way and in a different way every night and I am kind of starting to enjoy them. Every once in a while Todd gets kicked in the shin or slapped in the cheek, but he doesn't get mad because he knows I will have a decent story to tell him in the morning. This is definitely something that the doctors should warn you of because some of the dreams can be rather unsettling. Just pinch your nipple, it hurts, and wake up and all will be normal (and slightly purple) in an instant.